Sex, to me, is not just merely an act. In fact, it's not even an act to which you can apply love or connection or addiction, etc etc. Sex can be sex without the act entirely- to me, as I made sure to say.
In my Topics of Sexuality course, we've managed to establish that sexuality (as well as what feels good/bad and what is right/wrong, etc) is entirely defined by your culture and its own political, social, economic, etc values because you, as an individual- and even the notion of individuality!- have been produced from the discourses which have been, also, produced. Let me see if I can break this down: all you are, from your ideas on the world to your tastes in absolutely everything to what you manage to see and not see in this world, has been shaped/made by the world around you- the power dynamics you see/don't see in male and female interactions; the simple notion of male and female existing as male and female; the concept of individuality; what you deem to be respect; what you deem to be worthwhile and not- it's all be produced by your circumstantial context of personal existence.
So with that taken care of, I'd like to reach past all of that and discuss the concept of sex as a specific style of pleasure instead. Especially given that the act cannot merely be an act due to all of those special circumstantial contexts that have formed us, sex seems to be universal as a state of pleasure- and there're many ways, beyond those told to you by "society," by which to increase it. And that is the point of pleasure, yes? To increase it.
Here is a very convoluted by thorough website that explains what is known as Tantra: http://www.spaceandmotion.com/Philosophy-Tantra-Tantric-Sex.htm
Tantra, as you may know, goes a bit father than to say sex is just this animalistic physical thing that one can do and may/may not sorta kinda maybe apply it to spirituality, or emotion, or whatever- it says that "sex," the act, is merely a small portion of all possible pleasure and that one can tap into that pleasure through a whole bunch of stuff. My point? As much as I love systems thinking, and really do believe that everything affects everything else, I think there're more worlds than this one and so systems thinking cannot be the only way to go.
I'll do my best in the next few blogs to explain where this all came from.
Yes, you'll need to explain this more clearly - you say that "..."sex"...is merely a small portion of all possible pleasure and that one can tap into that pleasure through a whole bunch of stuff", but then say this is not related to systems thinking? Perhaps not to 'thinking' per se, but certainly to systems, at least to the extent I can tell from your description. I don't follow your logic on this one!
ReplyDeleteI too look forward to a bit more in depth explanation.
ReplyDeleteI don't see any further discussion, so maybe I am missing something, but the topic of sex varies dramatically between cultures and your post made me think largely about the cultural systems playing parts in defining sex. I also want to mention that I am merely commenting on the views of sex that I have seen and lived in, not necessarily my views on them. I will discuss two systems at work; one domestically and the other, internationally.
ReplyDeleteMy first example is regarding judgements about sex. In the American social system, I would ASSUME that sex is a fairly private thing, and so when I encountered one of my residents (as I am a residential FIG assistant) having sex in the bathroom, I was quite disturbed. When I talked about this with a respected adult, he pointed out that it is not necessarily a private activity for all people. What?! I made a judgement about what I feel is private in our social system and had the opportunity to look at it from a different point of view. Obviously, like you Renee, people have different ideas about sex, and certainly in America, we all have different definitions, and this lead to my miscommunication.
My other example is regarding my time spent in Ghana. My host parents communicated to a mediator that I was not supposed to have sex "like American teenagers" in their home area. Were they judging American societal norms? Do people think that American teenagers have rampant sex? As I have learned through my now fabulous relationship with my Ghanaian family, it was not them making a judgement of me, just reminding me of their cultural norms. How do these systems differ? They value sex as something that happens after marriage, after a right of passage into a tribe, and certainly something that makes a person less pure. As an American society, how does our social system value sex? Do religious institutions and genderized systems value sex a certain way? Or, should we not make assumptions at all about a culture, and instead, look at how individuals think of sex as?
What factors play into these opinions? Are portrayals in the media reinforcing feedback loops? Negative loops? Positive loops?